Crazy Notes with My family
by The Real Emmett Cullen
Summary: Me*Emmett* talks to my new sister, and the Family goes crazy, How do you kill mike newton, Without you killing him? How does Sugar Make alice crazy? and How does jasper deal with 2 different jaspers? EJasper. cJasper. HMm what could this cause.. FUNNY


**Crazy notes with my family… **

**This is all my talks with My sister Shana Cullen.. Im Emmett Cullen this is Dedicated to my LIL sister Shana, And what we talk about… DON'T READ ITS STUPID CRAZY AND FUN, But Seriously it has bad grammar, and spelling, IF YOU WANT TO BE IN THIS U CAN.. **

**Talk one: *Shana has just joined our family***

**Me: **

**LOL Esme and Carlisle Are happy ur part of our Family.. =)Awesome where on each otheres profile **

**MissCullenx0x****May 05th, 9:44am haha lol! love them both!Your Sister Shana **

**The Real Emmett Cullen****May 05th, 4:54pm Who doesn't, I only dislike them when they let Rose and Alice Ground us..Jasper: I SECOND THATMe: HERE, HERE...Jasper: were on strike... **

**MissCullenx0x****May 06th, 8:17am Haha lol. wow I feel sorry for u and Jazz. lol. Do you think you deserve it though?Your little sis **

**The Real Emmett Cullen****May 06th, 8:31pm Hale No... they had what was coming to them...There evil and Mean =) **

**MissCullenx0x****2 days ago, 8:20am awe are they evil and mean? Who? Rose and Alice?Lil Sis **

**The Real Emmett Cullen****2 days ago, 11:18am YES Alice and Rose r Uber MEAN, and evil... ='( *SOBS* So how is my lil sis and how was that shopping trip u and Alice had yesterday .. lolBig Bro **

**MissCullenx0x****2 days ago, 11:22am o! But Rose is your wife! Will I have to tell her that your being a bad boy?! lolWell, big brother, the shopping trip was EXTREMELY tiring. You know what I mean?! lol. Wow. She likes to shop! So do I, but no where NEAR as much as the pixie. How are you em?Lil Sis **

**The Real Emmett Cullen****2 days ago, 3:50pm Well I know Rosie is my Wife, But when she is with Alice She goes crazy. I know Alice need to get tired but that little Pixie never Stops, Energizer Bunny...Im Good, except for the fact that me and jasper haven't hunted in 3 weeks because were still grounded, But Eddie said her would save us.. Jasper *Has lost his mind*: I LOVE COWSSS..Me: me 2 manjasper: See what happened when Alice sticks me with him I become crazy and talk to myself..Jasper*lost mind*: were not talking to each other MWAHAHAHA. hehe hoho haha..Jasper: SEE Im Talking to myself Ive lost it... HELP MEme: Good luck with your problem Run from Jasper.. RUN///// his other half is attacking **

**MissCullenx0x****2 days ago, 11:43pm Yes, you are totally right about rose and the pixie. lolHope you two get out soon. Poor Jazz. lmao. haha, so he likes cows??You should try and keep jazz occupied sis **

**The Real Emmett Cullen****2 days ago, 8:21am EDDIE FREED Us.. YAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!!WE LOVE EDDIE he saved us...Jasper: LOVE EDDIE..*CRAZY* Jasper: Mahwah My Plan is working, Im EVIL Fairy..Me: Dude r u okay..Jasper: yeah Im fine...*Crazy* Jasper: TAKE OVER THE WORLD with Vampire kitties.. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAMe: Okay,.. *RUNS AWAY*Jasper: I love messing with Emmett lol **

**MissCullenx0x****2 days ago, 10:08am Yay!! Edward rocks! Lol, jasper sounded extremely crazy. But then he said he likes annoying you. lmao. Vampire Kitties?! hahaoh no. Alice is screaming for me. Got to go and hide. That evil pixie is so annoying! she's going to give me a Barbie makeover probably. Grrr.... you've got to distract her em! Lil sis **

**The Real Emmett Cullen****2 days ago, 1:45pm I have thee Awesomest, Biggest, Idea.. TOP SECRET...*Whispers* Okay, the plan is, Im going to make a Cullen aim, And Get Alice Distracted, once we load her up with tons of sugar, We will show the World just how crazy Alice Cullen Really is, Then... We will Blackmail her.. Its the Only Way.. *Stops Whispering*Jasper: Em What r u doing..Me: Its Top SECRET GO BACK SOUTH U HICK..Jasper: You F*cker..Me: **Jasper: Wow very Mature : This is why he doesn't get to know the plan Shana lolWith LoveYour Older, Wiser, prankster. BrotherEmmett.. Hush tones About the TOP SECRET FILE **

**MissCullenx0x****2 days ago, 3:48pm okay! Good plan! Yeah, you can't trust some people *cough jasper cough* ....?Yeah, we gotta do something to that pixie. lol!Lil sis **

**The Real Emmett Cullen****2 days ago, 7:54pm MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA its a Plan Evil little Sis hahahahahahahaha.. Jasper: Okay seriously what's the plan..Me: Okay, okay we will Tell u... Were going to make aim, And so when Rose, Comes on we will Dare her to Eat tons of Sugar, and make her Go Crazy... *LIES*Jasper: Great plan... *Smiles Evil*Me: *IDIOT.* yeah isn't it a Great Plan lol Yes that's going to happen to Rose. *Cough Alice Cough*Jasper: What..Me: WhoJasper: WhenMe: : What timeMe: Without,, Jasper: Who withMe: STOP I cant think of anymore, its giving a Headache B*sterd..Jasper: Not my fault ur a : HEY, Uncle jazzie that's not nice, You can be mean to Uncle Em, Daddy says he is Retarded, and need help, and its wrong to be mean to him..Me: HE TOLD U WHAT..... =(Jasper: Calm Down Em..Me: I think Eddie is Going Down with Al--- I mean Rose...Nessie:*Whispers* that was my plan, Daddy wouldn't let me have a pony Now he deals with uncle Em. Haha..Me: Did u say something : Me.. Nope not at all. Did I say that to : UGH EDDIE IS GOING TO DIE..Love Me, Jasper, and Nessie..*You get one of a kind stories lol* **

**MissCullenx0x****Yesterday, 3:49am haha lol. This plan is going to be brilliant!Edward think your retarded? HAHA!!!! :)Mike: Hey Gorgeous!Me: um....Eric: Wow ur soooo smexy!ME: F*ck off yorkieTyler: Wow Mike! Your looking good today Newton!Mike: So are you! Eric: Hey Guys? Wanna come to my house?Me: What the hell?Tyler: Sure. We can do lots of FUN stuff...Mike: Just wait while I get some protection... Me: Ewe...Eric: I'll meet you at mine in half an hour then. I'll get things all set : Yeah, I'll just pop into Victioria Secret on the way..Mike: Bye then! *then he slaps Tyler's **.*Me: This is very : Ooo! Cheeky one Mikey!Eric: Lets just see what I've got in store for all of you later...*Then they all leave*Me: WTF?? Wow...That was a very disturbing experience for me.. If I was able to throw up, I'd do it right now..Love from Lil Sis **

**The Real Emmett Cullen****Yesterday, 12:47pm Haha u ran into mike, tyler, and eric..HAHA Sucks for u little sis... Guess what...THE PLAN IS A GOMWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHEdward: Em, I new u were retarded..Me: Yeah I am sorry, hey Eddie, Join my aim Cullen chat, Everyone else is..Edward: Okay. FineMe: MWHAHAHAHAHA I just trapped him and he thinks am a retard. Stupid 109 year old virgin.. haha u know what's funny, Eddie waited 109 years, but Bella only waited 18 years lmao... Bella has a more sexual Drive hahahah, ill use that in the Chat... Im using u 2.... WERE EvilS..ATTACK VAMPIRE KITTY...Kitty: Meow.. *KILLS a Bear* Me: i love u kitty..Rose: *Coughs'*Me: Not as much as I love u Rosie poise.. *LMAO, if only she new*MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA*Computer has disconnected because Rated R things happen lmao*Your sexual drive brother lolEmmett.. *Have fun dealing with gay *** AKA MIKE, Eric, Tyler. I think I always new **

**MissCullenx0x****Yesterday, 12:52pm Yea sucks for me... lolWow...Poor Eddie!Oh by the way, Esme's looking for you. She said you broke her favorite vase. Is that true Emmy?O dear...Tyler, Mike and Eric are soooooo sick!Vampire Kitty...you rock!Love your lil sis **

**The Real Emmett Cullen****Yesterday, 1:25pm HOLY CRAP .. 8I didnt Break that Vase, it wasn't me.. *Goes Hiding*Esme: EMMETT CULLEN I KNOW UR IN HEAR..ME: *JUMPS OUT THE WINDOW REALLY FAST*ME: RUN.. =( Esme scary RUNSMike called her said he wanted a 5 some, I told him u didnt role like that, he doesn't get a hint **

**MissCullenx0x****Yesterday, 1:35pm Esme is going to KILL you Emmett!! You've broke like, I dunno, around like...3,500??!!!Me: *Shakes head) When will Emmett ever learn..?Rose: Yes no more of you know what for two : He's got mental problems...Alice: Yeah!! That means we get to go shopping for a new vase!! But really Emmett, you're like Bella when she was human! So clumsy!Bella: ALICE! please don't remind me of my human days.. Emmett, Esme will kill you...Nessie: Daddy's right! He IS mentally retarded...Carlisle: Grrr...I bought that vase for my baby! Go to your room Emmett!!Esme: I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!!Jacob: Stupid blood-sucking monster..Jasper: Calm down everyone!! But yeah Emmett you should stop being such an **...lol!!!Ewe....Mike is sick!:) Lil Sis **

**The Real Emmett Cullen****Yesterday, 1:56pm ='( *lip trembles* ) U got the whole family hating me... *Break down in sobs..*Vampire kitty: meow, meow, meow. &it shall be okay Em.&Me: Doesn't stop sobbing.. ='( =( ur sad, crying brother in his roomEmmett **

**MissCullenx0x****Yesterday, 2:01pm Awe...don't cry Emmy bear!But really...You should be more careful!Love your caring, beautiful, vampire sisterShana **

**The Real Emmett Cullen****Yesterday, 2:16pm Ur all mean, u don't know what its like to have all this strength and muscle, its not my fault Im BIG it how God made me... =( =( MEANLYS.. and Edward and jazz has broke the same about as me... **

**MissCullenx0x****Yesterday, 2:35pm Excuse me?! I am not mean!! Nobody in this family are mean Emmett. Your just but Edward and Jazz has not broke the same amount of vases as you have.. No-where near!Please don't lie to yourself!Lil sis **

**The Real Emmett Cullen****Yesterday, 4:04pm Jasper: that's not true, ive broke over 5,000s vases.. and Edward has broken at least 3,000s.. and Emmett has broken 4,599. so Im the worst ....Me: SEE... I only like jasper he is the only Nice person in this family... =(..... *Sobs*Rose: Awe Em, we were just kidding...Me: No u weren't... *Runs away and cant be found.*Everyone: EMMETT Dont go **

**MissCullenx0x****Yesterday, 4:44pm Fine! oh and by the way jazz, U SUCK!!!!Grrr...Come back Emmy bear! Whose gonna give me my bear hugs when I get sad...? :(lil sis whose missing her big brother.. **

**The Real Emmett Cullen****Yesterday, 5:20pm Me Thru a phone: No Im not coming back to many ppl mean to me, were a family not to be mean to each other =( *hangs up*Nessie: u know aunt Shana I have to write Emmys Chats while her is Gone, do u know how hard that is =P well its hard...Rose: I want Emmy bear back *Dry sobs*.japer: MWAHAHA I have a secret...Edward: me and Bella r going out everyone...Alice: Yeah not many ppl care, bye though **

**MissCullenx0x****Yesterday, 2:08am Gee stop acting like a mini mike Newton! Come back for Rosalie! She is dry sobbing over you!!! She misses you..Lil sis **

**The Real Emmett Cullen****Yesterday, 10:14am Jasper: He called me and told me where he is at ill bring him back...3 weeks later...Me: Im back and I still hate you ALL...Rose: Gosh Em get over it we were joking..Jasper: we know he doesn't hate me, I was the only person that would talk to him..Me: ur right I only like jasper =)...Bye **

**MissCullenx0x****Yesterday, 10:37am Yea, get over it!You hate Rosalie?! Oh...I think that's going a bit too far! She's your flipping wife!Rose: You hate me? *dry sobbing*Me: Don't worry Rose. Ps: You hate me? I thought you were my b-big b-brother... You're supposed to be looking after me.... *dry sobbing*Your hurt lil sis:( **

**The Real Emmett Cullen****Yesterday, 7:55pm Rosie knows I love hate her, duh that's how where still married and together... Jasper: That is So true Emmett..Nessie: LMAOEdward: Language Renesmee Nessie: Oh sorry Laughing my As off Better.. *Glares*Jasper: Wow Welcome to teenage years Eddie..Me: Lol, Im going hunting rose u want to come *Winks*Rose :Yerp Bye : that means Im in charge of Emmett's fan fiction..ME: Yerp Jazz: K **

**MissCullenx0x****Today, 8:32am Well that's good!Okay...Hope you and Rose have fun...lolOkay Jasper! How's u?lil sis :) **

**The Real Emmett Cullen****Today, 11:35am Im good I Got a new Motorcycle.. Its Silver with black ..Nessie: Uncle jazzy, *Sobs* I *sobs* Broke *Sobs* Esme's *sobs* New *sobs* vase *Cries*Jasper*Me*: um, ugh its okay Nessie we will go get a new one before Esme even realizes.\Emmett:*though is feelings and Edward can read his mind.* : *anger* I get in trouble for breaking the stupid vase, But Nessie gets a good job and lets go get a new one, UGH.. *Blocks thoughts, and runs back to rose*Jasper*Me*: Haha so Nessie purple vase or : Purple..Esme: WHO BROKE MY VASENessie: I *Cries* didnt *Sobs* Mean *Sobs* to..Esme: its okay dear you didnt mean *me*: this is really effed she gets hugs and kisses but me, Emmett or Edward break it we get in jasper: *Glared* MWAHAHAHAHA EVIL SECRET PLANS... MWAHAHAHAAlice: Jazz did you take your *Me*: what pills Im fine Alice..Evil jasper: MWAHAHAHAHA...*Questions*By Emmett..What's wrong with jasper?Why Am I still online when Im with rose?Where is Bella and Edward?What's Wrong with world peace?Rose: : Coming Rosie.. *Last Question*Why will me, Eddie, jasper, and mike Newton rob a bank? Find out next time..**

**Im good! Only I met plastic barbie doll today. Me and Bella were out and guess who we saw!!! TANYA!!!!!! I mean, you should've seen Bella's face! Hahaha it was sooo funny...Yea well...Nessie is young and you and Jasper and Edward should no better not to break any vases...Okay...Why will you, Jasper Edward and Mike rob a bank? This is my guess... You take Mike with you so he can get into jail when the police come and you three can just run away with the extra money... Am I right?Lil sister Shana **

**The Real Emmett Cullen****Today, 12:38pm Um, i cant tell you that its classifid, Read to find out...THE BANK ROBBERY: (Sam,Rogger, and fred r code names)Mike: Who r u?Me*in a scary voice: IT a secret jasper: MWAHAHAEvil jasper: HAHAHAHAAHAHNAHAHAHAHA, DIE Sam did you bring the GunCrazy jasper: hahA YES...Eddie: Um, Sam..Crazy jasper: Yes rogger..Eddie: Um r u okay..Evil jasper: MWAHAHA ROGGER that : Guys Knock it off.*Evil* EJasper: MWAHAHa SOrry Fred.*Crazy*CJASPER: Fredder..Eddie: Okay Fred..Mike: R u going to kill : Of course WERE not going to kill you..Mike: okay, so what r we going to : were going to play video games here holf this * Hands Mike the Gun* MWAHAHAHACJasper: Now Lets get out of the car and to he telvistion..Mike: Right.i like this fake : Me 2..Me: Dont shoot till i tell you, its a game about a fake : : : Lets Go.. *Runs into the banks*EJasper: *Runs behind Emmett*Eddie: *Takes mike into the bank.* its just a game mike none of this is : Okay.. tell me when,Eddie: Walk in those doors and raise the Gun int he : haha. OMG THAT GUY HAS A : WHAT * Presses button* (doors lock, cops coming)Me: haha, Cops coming. *Grabbs eddie, and Cjasper.*EJaper: Wait for me. *Tacles Mike.* i saved this bank. *Gets the Gun*Eddie&Emmett: Stealing all the : Im i : haha Yerp not Shoot to the : *Shoots the : *Shoots Mike* R you okay sir *Ask Jasper*Cjasper: I think so, i tried to get the gun tfrom that crazy : its okay he is dead now..EDdie: haha Mission acomlish, and now i can honestly Tell bella I DIDNT KILL : *Grabs Gun and Shots Eddie* MWAHAHA EVIL VAMPIRE KITTY ATTACKCJasper: *Shoots himself,* Me: how come we didnt here you shoot : i Put the Silenters on, MWHAHA. get bella to take the bullet : Stupid samCjasper: Whose Sam i was fred, Dumb a^SMe: Right i was Sam.. *Get it* Alice: No one would get that : *talks to himself* i got itEJasper: MWAHAHA ME 2.**


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